


The Talk

by IncendiaGlacies



Series: Waverider Domesticness [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Gen, Human!Gideon, Team Dynamics, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-30 00:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10865370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncendiaGlacies/pseuds/IncendiaGlacies
Summary: Nate and Sara attempt to give newly human Gideon The Talk but chaos ensues as usual with the Legends. In which Sara wants to be inclusive, Ray blushes a lot, everyone thinks Martin is too old, Amaya just wants to understand 21st century logic, and Nate was just trying to be helpful for once. And Rip has just given up with this team and Gideon.





	The Talk

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at humor and general team relationships.

“Sara, we need to talk.”

“Nate, you’re dating Amaya, not me. You’re supposed to have the serious conversations with her,” Sara responded without even looking up from her papers.

“What? No! We need to talk about Gideon,” Nate exclaimed.

“Any problems with Gideon should probably be taken up with Rip,” Sara replied.

“No, Sara. Just listen. Look, Gideon only recently became a human and it’s not exactly hard to notice that she’s well…you know…” he trailed off.

Sara looked up from her papers at her desk to see Nate standing by her chair. She gave him a look, “Hot?”

“Right, exactly,” Nate snapped his fingers as Sara got it in one, “And the last three missions she’s been accosted by men and every time one of us has to stop it because I don’t think she even notices that she’s beautiful and nice and men like that.”

“So men are assholes, what else is new? This is why I tend to go for the women.”

Nate sighed, “It’s not about that. Look she’s been an AI for her whole life, no physical entity. She probably doesn’t know much about…you know.”

Sara shrugged, not getting what he was saying.

Nate huffed again, “Okay, you know what? We need to give her the sex talk. Because I don’t think she’s ever gotten it and we can’t always be there to help her. So yeah, we need to give her The Talk.”

“Why us?” Sara crossed her arms.

“Well Jax is too young. Martin is too old. Amaya only recently learned about the sexual revolution so her values are also a bit outdated. Mick has no tact. Ray blushes at everything. And Rip…”

“Is far too English and stiff to even consider giving his former AI the talk?”

Nate shrugged and nodded.

Sara sighed, “You’re probably right. Okay, let’s just get this over with.”

“What? Now?” Nate questioned as Sara marched to the door.

Sara raised an eyebrow, “What you got something better to do?” Nate shook his head and hurried along after her. Eventually they found Gideon in the kitchen cutting up fruit for herself.

“Gideon, we’ve been looking all over for you!” Sara exclaimed as she and Nate pulled up a seat at the counter.

“Captain Lance, Dr. Heywood. How can I help you?” Gideon smiled pleasantly.

“Actually it’s more of what we can do for you,” Nate started.

“And what’s that?” Gideon asked.

“Well, the thing is…you know, you’re a very beautiful woman,” Nate began.

“Thank you, Dr. Heywood. Although physical beauty standards are-” Gideon got cut off.

“What Nate means to say, is that you’re beautiful and men and you know, some women are going to find you attractive. And then things happen,” Sara tapered off, apparently she wasn’t as forward as she thought she would be.

“Things?” Gideon questioned.

“Look, we’re trying to give you The Talk,” Nate interrupted.

Gideon took a bite of the apple she had in her hand and chewed slowly, once she swallowed she responded, “Most of my programming covered only the basics of 21st century colloquialisms. You’re going to have to be more specific about what you mean.”

“Right, well when a man and a woman, you know, really love each other,” Nate started.

“Hold on wait, why does it have to be a man and a woman?” Sara interrupted, “It can be a man and a man, or a woman and a woman. There’s no need to pigeonhole her. What if she wants choices?”

Nate turned to Sara, “Okay, alright. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m just saying if we’re going to do this, we might as well do it properly and be all inclusive. Because I know my parents weren’t and that was hard to figure out for myself,” Sara explained.

“Okay, so when two humans love each-”

“Wait,” Sara interrupted again.

“What?” Nate groaned.

“I’m just saying, what about Supergirl?”

“What about her?” Nate asked incredulously.

“Well you said two humans. Supergirl is an alien, are you trying to insinuate she doesn’t want sex? I mean aliens probably do it too, right?”

“Okay, fine,” Nate turned back to Gideon, who was all wide-eyed at the ensuing conversation, “When two people,” here he paused for emphasis and shot Sara a dirty look, “love each other-”

Once again Nate was interrupted this time by the trio entering the kitchen.

“Look all I’m saying is make sure the little guy doesn’t get into my room again. I have a lot of wires and stuff and he could mess it up,” Ray said.

“Your wires nearly killed Axel,” Mick growled in return as he coddled his rat in his hands. Behind them Amaya was holding back a grin at their conversation.

“Mr. Rory, please do not let that rodent loose around the food,” Gideon stopped the argument, “While it does not have any known viruses, Captain Hunter would be most displeased to find it in the kitchen.”

“Sure thing, Gideon,” Ray answered for the pyromaniac, “What’s going on here?” he asked taking in the serious looks on Nate and Sara’s faces and the permanent smile on Gideon’s face.

“Captain Lance and Dr. Heywood were just giving me The Talk,” Gideon answered happily.

Immediately Ray’s cheeks turned a deep pink and Nate merely groaned again while Mick began laughing at Ray’s face. Meanwhile Amaya looked rather confused.

“What exactly is The Talk?” she asked Nate.

“The sex talk,” Sara sighed, “Just to have safe sex and dos and don’ts.”

Amaya nodded, “I keep forgetting it’s normal to talk about these things openly in the 21st century.”

“It’s more of a personal thing really,” Ray scratched the back of his neck as he refused to look at anyone.

“Anyways, if we can continue?” Nate asked, motioning to the exits as he wanted this to be a private conversation – well as private as it could be on the Waverider.

“Go ahead Pretty, no one’s stopping you,” Mick pulled up a seat and grinned.

Nate sighed, “Where were we?”

“When two people love each other,” Gideon prompted.

“Right, when two people love-”

“I thought you said things in the future were ‘chill’?” Amaya interrupted with a frown on her face, “Now you’re saying it’s only if they love each other?”

“It can be both,” Sara spoke up at last, “As long as both members are consenting. Or you know if you have more than two people, that’s fine too.”

“Do we have to get so specific?” Ray asked with a squeak.

“We just want Gideon to know that whatever she chooses is fine as long as she’s happy and we will support her,” Sara said tersely, daring anyone to cross her.

Nate nodded in agreement, but mostly because he didn’t want Sara to kill him, “Right, so when people love each other or when people have mutually given consent,” Nate looked at Amaya and Sara here for their approval.

Sara nodded and added, “Consent is the most important thing.”

“Right, so then-”

“Grey, I’m telling you I got this.”

“Jefferson, I know you are a smart young man, surely you can see where my distress is stemming from.”

“Yeah, I know you care, but you’re also getting up there in the years, Grey. Just relax. Hey guys, what’s happening?” Jax asked as the two halves of Firestorm entered the kitchen only to run into the majority of the team in there.

“Mr. Jackson, how are the engines looking?” Gideon asked as she sliced up a mango and put it on a plate for Mick. Mick in response glared at the offending fruit until Gideon gave him a sharp look and he huffed and put the plate between him and Ray to share. Nate did a double take as he watched it all happen, when did Gideon fabricate the mangoes? And the strawberries? Was she even listening to them?

“Engines are good, we’ll have to look at the stabilizers if you have time though,” Jax answered happily grabbing the blueberries on the counter. Where was all this fruit coming from?

“Of course Mr. Jackson,” Gideon said as she cut up another apple for Amaya.

“What’s happening in here?” Jax asked again.

“Yes, was there a team meeting we weren’t notified about?” Martin asked Sara in particular.

“No, Nate and I just wanted to have a conversation with Gideon and these three interrupted,” Sara gestured to the trio.

“They’re giving her The Talk,” Mick said with glee.

“Ah, perhaps I should help?” Martin asked, “After all, I am the only one in this group currently that has a daughter and has given this speech before.”

“Lily is a time aberration, you know?” Ray asked softly then quickly backtracked, “I mean not that she isn’t real. But do your memories with her count if you remember both life with and without her?”

“Be as that may, Raymond, I am the most qualified to direct this conversation,” Martin scowled.

“Your views are old fashioned though,” Jax interrupted, “This isn’t me trying to be rude, Grey. It’s just that times have changed, haven’t they? You didn’t even know what ghosting was.”

“He does have a point,” Nate said, “And Sara is the only one that actually gets any action in like every time period we go to.”

Jax and Mick nodded appreciatively, Sara merely shrugged with a smug look on her face. She knew she had game.

“Yes, I suppose you do have a point there. The intricacies of relationships have changed a lot since I was a young man. But still, some things must remain the same.”

“Okay, fine. I guess everyone is staying,” Nate acquiesced to the silent proposal, “Where was I?”

“You were talking about how it doesn’t matter if the people love each other or not as long as there’s consent,” Gideon refreshed as she put the chopping board and knife into the sink.

“Right, so-”

“Now wait,” Martin stopped Nate this time.

Nate groaned and dropped his head to the counter, “What now?!”

“I’m merely saying that surely we can all agree that this is something you should do with the person you love most of all, your other half, soulmate if you will?”

“I mean that’s kinda hard to do in this day and age,” Ray started.

“Besides, Marty, we met you when we were young. Remember?” Sara flashed a wicked grin.

“I’ve just recently gotten over the fact that it doesn’t need to lead to marriage,” Amaya groaned. She knew this conversation was for Gideon, but she was hoping to learn from it too.

“I don’t think the kid is old enough to hear about all this,” Mick threw out just to stir the pot a bit. It was getting boring.

“Hey, now wait just a minute-”

“Ms. Lance I thought I asked you not to bring that up again. All I’m saying is that if I were telling my daughter about-”

“Did you give her the talk, or did Clarissa?”

“You’re just mad that you found me sexy.”

“No, the two people don’t need to be married-”

“What’s the point of teaching her 21st century etiquette if we time travel all over the place?”

This was the chaos that Rip walked in on with his empty tea mug, a set of files tucked in his arm. He sighed as he took in the usual display of all the Legends squabbling over one another. Obviously he decided to take a stance next to the only other sane person on this ship; Gideon didn’t even bother trying to hide the smile on her face at the team’s quarreling.

“What exactly is happening?” Rip asked his former AI quietly.

“I believe the Legends were attempting to give me The Talk. So far I’ve learned about polyamorous relationships, LGBT rights and the importance of consent.”

Rip raised an eyebrow at her, “Gideon, they do realize that you’re an AI from the future so to speak with knowledge about just about everything? Including sex.”

“Actually Captain, I thought it was rather sweet that they cared enough to talk to me about it,” Gideon smiled at him with big eyes.

Rip sighed as he set his mug into the sink and gave her a disapproving look, “You got bored again didn’t you?”

“We have been stuck on this ship for almost two weeks and they keep taking over the media room and someone is stealing my books. Of course I got bored. Besides, it was worth it to see the blush on Dr. Palmer’s face,” a devious look of glee shone on her face.

Rip shook his head at her, “Gideon,”

“It was your idea to form a team, Captain,” Gideon pointed out, “I didn’t get a say. The least you can do is allow me to use them for entertainment.” She gestured to the commotion around them, Sara currently had a knife in her hand and Mick and Jax were almost at each other’s throats, with only Ray and Martin trying to appease them.

Rip nudged her side to get Gideon’s attention again, “I think you need a hobby. One that doesn’t interfere with your job.”

“Oh Captain,” Gideon laughed, “My only job is supposed to be looking after you. Helping you raise the Legends is my hobby.”


End file.
